


Ike's Guilty Pleasure

by Yuubooty



Category: Super Smash Brothers, The Legend of Zelda & Related Fandoms, Warioware
Genre: Anal Sex, Bath Sex, Blackmail, Crack, Crack Pairing, Crack Treated Seriously, Dark, Dark Comedy, Dirty Talk, Dirty Thoughts, Explicit Sexual Content, Hate Sex, Humiliation, Ike is the design from ultimate, Implied/Referenced Rape/Non-con, Link is crazy, M/M, Nipple Licking, Oral Sex, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Plot What Plot/Porn Without Plot, Rape/Non-con Elements, Rimming, Rough Kissing, Rough Oral Sex, Rough Sex, Sex Toys, Sex Toys Under Clothing, Sexual Content, Shower Sex, Smash Mansion, Table Sex, This is a dark fic, ike is not the buff bitch from 4, like deadass, oof
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-12-07
Updated: 2018-12-07
Packaged: 2019-09-13 12:39:03
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,457
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16892775
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Yuubooty/pseuds/Yuubooty
Summary: He couldn't believe it. Out of all people, why him? Why would he allow himself to do something so intimate with such a disgusting person? As if he actually enjoys it, ha, yeah right...but if that was the case, why does he keep going back to him for more?





	Ike's Guilty Pleasure

**Author's Note:**

> Yeah, so, he's a little quip about me. 
> 
> bout, 7 years ago, I wrote a lil fic about Wario and Ike for no reason whatsoever. I got bored of cuties being together and thought of an extremely crack pairing that turned out to be hot as fuck so fuck it, since Ultimate dropped I decided to bring this shit back and see how far I can go with it lmao, hope you all enjoy
> 
> (If you follow my Omega story, newest chapter is halfway completed)

“Ike, let’s go already!” A small, blond male yelled from the locker room entrance. His honey colored locks framed his face and his striking blue eyes narrowed, “All the good food will be gone by the time we get there, and knowing Kirby, there probably won’t even be any crumbs left!”

Dabbing his sweaty brow with a small cloth, a young man with blue haired turned to look at the pointy eared boy. A smile spread across his lips.

“Link.” He chuckled, “You don’t have to wait for me, you know. Just save me a seat, I’ll meet up with you.”

“As if! Have you not seen how big some of those goons are?” The blond, Link, stated, “They might eat me if I try something like that.”

Ike laughed once more from his friends’ words. While he himself had a large appetite, Link had him beat. The guy ate more than anyone he’s ever met, including Kirby, who did nothing _but_ eat! It was strange how he was one of the smallest competitor’s there, but almost everyone was strange in their own way, so it wasn’t that odd.

“Ok, ok, I’m coming.” He tossed his towel into his locker and slammed it shut. After he locked it, he made his way over to the Hylian.

By the time he reached Link, the smaller one wasted no time snatching his wrist and pulling him out.

When it came to food, nothing stopped the guy.

“Goddess, if all the good food is gone, I’ll never forgive you!” Link snapped.

Ike simply rolled his eyes, not at all believing the hero’s words. It wasn’t the first time that he’s heard them, and it wasn’t going to be his last.

“If that’s the case, you don’t ever have to wait for me again and you can go straight to the cafeteria.” He suggested, but Link would have none of that.

He stopped in his tracks and released his hold on Ike, only to point an accusing finger at the mercenary.

“I’ve been here for a bit now, and while I do get a long with almost everyone, I consider you my closest friend here! We always do everything together: eat, train, work out, go out, cook, you name it! You can’t get rid of me that easily and you know it!”

“I didn’t mean we couldn’t still hang out…” Ike tried to explain properly, but his words failed to reach Link. Suddenly, a blur of blue whished passed them, nearly sending them onto the ground.

“Ah!” Link’s hands went to his head in panic, “Sonic’s as much as of glutton than Kirby is! We have to go, now!”

With that, he reached for Ike’s hand and followed the hedgehog’s lead, pulling Ike along with strength that could only belong to the Hero of Hyrule.

* * *

 

“Geez, he didn’t have to hold on so tightly…” Ike murmured as he rubbed his slightly sore wrist. He plopped down on the bench, making sure to save a seat for Link, who had immediately run off to the buffet like table, to secure the best foods for the both.

He glanced to check in on the Hylian and couldn’t help but laugh in amusement.

Link was moving in a speed that could only rival Sonic’s and gave off a type of aura that stated outright to not be anywhere near him as he gathered their meal…well that’s what Ike thought, seeing as how both Donkey Kong and Diddy Kong were clutching each other, fear evident in their eyes.

It always never ceased to amaze Ike on how threatening Link truly was. Despite his gentle appearance, he was considered one of the strongest players at the mansion. It was no surprise that he held a reputation amongst everyone.

Still, despite his position amid them all, he was one of the kindest. Ike could remember arriving for the first time. While most were quick to greet him, excluding the foul players that could care less of his arrival, Link was quick to befriend him. The reason why was a quite simple; he was a swordsman that had a big appetite.

It was an unusual, but strong friendship.

“As always, I see Link is eager to fill up before anyone else gets the chance.” A female’s voice said.

Sitting across from him gracefully was none other than the Princess of Hyrule, Zelda. A grin laid on her lips as she watched the blond.

“Yeah, I had just gotten out of a match, but that didn’t stop him.” Ike sighed, “It’s crazy, I can eat, but damn, he’s definitely got a stomach on him.”

“I can tell.” Zelda agreed as she continued to watch Link with a hint of delight.

From what Ike gathered from the duo, they know each other… but they don’t know each other. It didn’t make any sense to him, but they both came from Hyrule, but from different time periods, strangely enough. That didn’t stop them from forming a friendship quickly, and as he got to know Zelda on a more personal level, Ike could tell that she found this Link to be highly entertaining, apparently much different from the one from her own timeline.

“How positively absurd. I mean, honestly, can’t we just have a line? Something more organized? Always causing a mess that can easily be avoided.” A male’s voice appeared behind Ike and he already knew who it belonged to.

Turning around, his eyes laid on Marth, arms crossed and a frown on his face as he observed the commotion a few feet ahead of them.

Taking the free spot on Ike’s left, the mercenary could hear the prince grumble under his breath, the words “animals” and “beasts” escaping his lips quite frequently.

Marth was always so adamant on keeping order within the mansion ever since his arrival before Ike. He deemed it one of his many duties, despite not having any real authority to do so. Most of the time people listen to him, just to get him off their back, but most of the time they ignore him. They didn’t find him as much of a threat unlike the veteran fighters, seeing as he only chose to fight only on the stadiums, not wanting to ruin his composed image that he held.

“If it’s such a nuisance to you, why don’t you do something about it?” Ike asked.

“You act like I haven’t tried that already.” Marth turned to him, “No matter how many times I try to get them all to act a little civilized, they always act out of control the very next day!”

“Well, what’d you expect? Some of them actually are animals, you know.” Ike pointed, out, causing Marth to huff in irritation.

Soon a pair of footsteps neared the table. With a victorious smirk on his face, Link placed a tray piled with all sorts of delicious foods.

“They thought they could take all the good stuff!” He began, taking his designated seat next to Ike, “But little did they know…I’m as animalistic as one can get when it comes to food.”

“How adorable~” Zelda chirped as Link began to dig in ferociously.

Ike and Marth eyed her with uncertainty.

“Eat up!” Link snapped at Ike, cheeks bulging from his meal, “We’ve got plenty of training to do later on and I don’t need you passing out on me!”

“Huh? Training!” Ike said, before he could bring a large drumstick to his mouth, “I literally just got out of match not even five minutes ago! I need some rest-“

“Rest is for the weak!” Link cut him off, slamming his hand on the table, “We didn’t get pick to sleep! We’re here to fight! We’re here to show everyone that we’re the toughest from our lands, we’re here to- hey!”

Before he could continue, Link noticed pink stumps reaching for a large plate laden with all sorts of sweets.

“Kirby, I swear to the Goddess if you touch any of the food I get, I’ll chew you up like the piece of gum that you are! Got it!”

“Wah…” The pink ball like creature let out a fearful noise as Link stared him down.

Honestly, Ike was beginning to feel a bit scared…

“Absolutely adorable~” Zelda clasped her hands together, smiling at Link with adoration.

After a few minutes passed, the four of them enjoying the meal, though Marth continued to spew his thoughts on the mess the others were making, Ike noticed Link staring at him with slight confusion.

“What’s the matter now? I’m eating, as you can see?” Ike said, waving a fork in front of the Hylian.

“Hmm?” Ike was puzzled when Link brushed his bangs out of the way and placed his hand on his forehead. He then smiled, as if he discovered something.

“Your headband!” He exclaimed, “That’s what’s missing. I noticed something looked different about you for a minute, thought I was going crazy.”

“I think you meant to say crazier…” Sonic the Hedgehog muttered as he walked past their table holding a plate full of chili dogs.

“Did I really forget it?” Ike pondered, not paying attention to Link who was glaring daggers at the speedy animal, “Must have tossed it in my locker by mistake.”

“Well go get it!” Link demanded, “You look weird without it, I don’t like change.”

“Okay, okay.” Ike said, already getting up from the table. Right before he could walk away, he felt his cape being tugged.

He looked over his shoulder to see Link holding a banana out to him.

“Take it.” He ordered, a serious glint in his bright eyes.

Ike let out a sheepish smile as he accepted the fruit. He had to keep his strength up he supposed.

“He’s such a darling.” Zelda gushed quietly to Marth, “Always looking out for others wellbeing.”

Marth could only glance at Link who was chowing down his food as ferociously as a Munchlax that hadn’t eaten in days.

* * *

 

“The things I do for him, I swear.” Ike said to himself, as he unpeeled the banana, “Someone that persuasive shouldn’t be that innocent looking. He’d be a dangerous opponent to go up against in the front lines for sure.”

The halls leading to the male locker rooms were deserted. Everyone was either in the cafeteria eating their lunch, resting up for an upcoming match, or spending the free time out and about in the shopping plaza outside the mansion.

Ike kind of wish that he could just spend his free time visiting the plaza on his own for a change, he goes with Link from time to time only to dragged to around gathering up random ingredients for whatever strange, but delicious concoctions that he comes up with, shopping for clothes, or picking up weapons to refill his inventory, Ike didn’t mind that all too much.

Entering the locker room, Ike was quick to notice the humidity that filled the air. Hearing what had to be a shower running, it seemed that he wasn’t the only there.

“Was there already another match?” He wondered out loud. Why else would someone be showering in the locker rooms? Everyone had their own room within the mansion with their own bathroom. Maybe they didn’t want to go through all the trouble?

He shrugged his shoulders, it wasn’t a big deal and was none of his concern. Taking a bite out of the sweet fruit, he made his way to his locker. After he unlocked it, he pulled out the olive-green band.

Clutching it tightly, he closed his locker and started to make his way out.

“A-Ah!”

He stopped when he heard a voice cry out.

“What?” He turned around. The noise came from the showers.

“Hey, are you alright?” He called out. He didn’t hear anything other then the cry, but perhaps they fell or something before he arrived?

It was silent for a several moments and for a second, Ike thought that maybe he was just hearing things. Right before he could turn around, he heard the voice cry out once more.

“Mm- f-fuck!”

Yeah, someone needed some help.

Even though they probably weren’t wearing any clothing, he would get over it. If someone needed help, the right thing to do was to help them.

Tossing his unfinished banana in the nearest trash bin, he rushed over to the steam covered area.

“Don’t worry, I’m coming to help.” Ike said reassuringly.

As he grew closer, a muffled noise became noticeable.

It sounded sort of like rhythmic smacking.

Ike didn’t think anything of it, but as he closed in, his eyes met with a sight he wasn’t expecting.

Lying on his back, face red and eyes closed was the tactician, Robin.

His white his splayed beneath his head, drops of water fell over his nude body as he let out moans of pleasure. His slender legs were wrapped around the build of a stout, overweight man.

Ike took a step back, his headband slipped out of his hand.

Licking the side of Robin’s face as he thrust inside of the sorcerer was Wario.

Despite the water, he still wore his clothes and was preoccupied was burying himself deep inside the man’s body.

Ike watched as Robin turned his face to the side, his expression, a mixture of pleasure and hopelessness.

Ike was horrified.

What was going on?

“Eh?”

As if finally noticing the intruder, Wario lifted his head up.

His gaze met Ike’s.

A shiver ran through Ike’s spine as he took notice of the lust within Wario’s eyes.

Everything went still. His rough handling with Robin ceased, and the lithe male beneath him blew out ragged breaths. If one looked closely at his body, the would notice the various fresh hand bruises that littered all over it.

Disturbed by the sight, Ike was brought out of his trance when he heard Wario’s gruff laughter.

The grotesque man suddenly shoved his hips harshly against Robin’s bottom, the familiar wet smack echoing in the air.

The man let out a high-pitched cry when Wario continued his assault on his body, the blush on his face spreading across his features. Words he never would have imagine leaving Robin’s wet lips did just that as Wario fucked his body into submission.

“P-Please, g-gentle, a-ah, mm, y-you’re g-ahh…b-break me...”

This just encourage the larger man, the sound of bare flesh smacking against wet clothing grew ten times louder, in Ike’s ears anyway, along with Robin’s groans and shouts.

Ike couldn’t bare to witness anymore.

He took off immediately, completely forgetting the reason why he came there in the first place and unaware of the grave mistake he made of showing up in the first place.

**Author's Note:**

> fuck


End file.
